


Call It Even

by entirebutt



Category: N/A - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28611681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entirebutt/pseuds/entirebutt
Summary: Fic I did for JamesAB about his characters Chris and Tara getting it on with their buff lady neighbor Zoey.





	Call It Even

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to @ArtJamesAB over on twitter.

Angrily clutching a bag full of lizard treats in her hand and sweat on her forehead, Tara Mankai marches down the street to her apartment building on a hot Summer day. A moving truck and a Jeep she didn’t recognize were taking up valuable parking space, forcing Tara to park far enough away to be angry about it. Seeing the moving truck drive off as she walks only frustrates her more. She grumbles to herself as stomps her way up to the second floor of the building where she spots an open door with some boxes outside. Tara, frustrated and with a tendency to be abrasive, decides that she needs to give this new resident a piece of her mind but her attitude changes once she actually looks into the apartment. The new tenant was bent over digging through boxes which meant the first thing Tara saw was a big ass and a set of tree trunk-like thighs in a pair of daisy dukes.

“Daaaaamn...” Tara says reflexively, just barely loud enough for the new resident to hear. This woman, dressed in a tank top and short shorts stands up and turns to face the voice she’d heard. 

“Oh, hey I’m Zoey, you one of my neighbors?” Zoey approaches Tara and extends her hand out to the much smaller woman, who is in awe at the absolute specimen in front of her. Zoey is built like a brick shithouse and still curvy as hell, plus Tara has always had a thing for blondes. Tara shakes Zoey’s hand and can’t help but bite her lip as she stares at Zoey’s arm.

“Uhh, y-yeah I live in 3F” Tara mumbles as she stares at her new neighbor’s impressive chest. Zoey smirks and snaps her fingers to get Tara to look her in the eyes.

“You got a name?”

“Tara” 

“Well Tara, it’s a real pleasure to meet you.” Tara struggles to not look obviously flustered. “I’m not done unpacking yet but I’ve got beer in the fridge, you want one?” 

“I really shouldn’t” Tara looks down at the treats in her bag. Bud, the lizard the treats are for, gets antsy whenever he’s made to wait. After Zoey pulls the remaining boxes inside, she stands back in front of Tara with her hands on her hips.

“Aww come on, it’ll be like you’re the welcoming committee” Tara’s eyes go right back to Zoey’s cleavage and she finds it very hard to say no.

“Alright” 

“Attagirl” Tara puts her bag on a nearby table and takes a seat on Zoey’s sofa, her hands resting between her thighs. Zoey hands Tara a can over the seated woman’s shoulder before sitting next to her with a beer of her own.

“Welcome to the neighborhood” Tara raises her can up for a toast.

“Thanks Tara” Zoey taps her own can against Tara’s and both women take a drink.

“So how’d you find this place?” Zoey’s eyes seem to sparkle when asked this question.

“The Boss recommended it. His secretary lives here or something.” The first sentence is spoken with great admiration but the second one carries a sense of disdain.

“That’s cool” There isn’t much Tara can say to that so she drinks.

“Is the delivery around here any good?” Zoey jumps to a new subject with no issue. Typically Tara would respond to this question by saying that every local place sucks, her boyfriend being a chef has raised her standards a bit high, but without a hint of sass she replies...

“I could bring you some menus if you want.” 

“That’d be great, I hate having to cook after work.”

“What do you do?” Zoey gets a serious look on a her face.

“Whatever the boss needs me to.”

“Oh, that’s-“

“I would die for the boss if he asked me too” This is a worrying thing to say even with context but Tara’s mind is too busy with thoughts of shoving her face into Zoey’s breasts to worry about it.

“He sounds like a good boss.”

“He’s the best.”

“You know, I don’t think my boss would give me the choice” Zoey breaks her deathly glare and bursts out laughing. Tara usually finds it irritating when she believes someone is laughing too hard at a joke but she can’t help but laugh along with Zoey. As her laughing fit winds down, Zoey notices Tara’s huge, gorilla-like canine teeth.

“Woah, you got some chompers there!” 

“W-what?” Tara asks, stuttering thanks to her laughter.

“Those fangs, it’s like you’re a vampire or something.”

“Oh no, they, uh, run in my family.”

“Can I see them?” This question catches Tara off guard and almost makes her choke on her beer. 

“Uh, I-I guess so.” 

Tara puts her can down and turns her whole body to face Zoey. Her face gets hot as she slowly opens her mouth as wide as possible. For Tara, this is a deeply intimate action and deep in the pit of her stomach she begins to feel a stirring. As she watches Zoey examine and be impressed by her teeth, Tara’s stirring soon turns into a tingling that’s moving down to her nether regions. Without thinking, Zoey reaches out and presses her thumb against the point of one of Tara’s fangs. Before Zoey can comment on its sharpness, Tara unconsciously wraps her lips around Zoey’s thumb and begins to lick and suck it, the tingling becomes wetness as Tara grabs onto Zoey’s arm. Zoey is surprised for a moment but how content Tara’s face is amuses her enough to allow the thumb sucking to continue for another minute. Zoey wrangles Tara’s tongue and presses her thumb down on it, forcing Tara to open her mouth and her eyes. Tara realizes what she’s doing and pulls her head back, saliva hanging from her lip. 

“I am so sorry. I don’t know what-“ Zoey grabs hold of Tara’s arms and pulls her into a kiss.

Almost instantly, Tara gives Zoey all control and the busty blonde grabs her partner’s hips and pulls Tara into straddling her waist. The two continue kissing as Zoey starts reaching her hands down the back of Tara’s pants and Tara begins trying to lift Zoey’s tank top. They both stand up when they realize what the other wants, Tara drops her pants to the ground while Zoey removes her top. With a life long love of big titties behind her, Tara plants her head right between Zoey’s and tries to squeeze, kiss, and lick every inch of her breasts. As Zoey bounces Tara’s cheeks in her hands she struggles to comprehend how someone with such a little booty could still manage to have so much ass. Tara and Zoey stand there playing with each other’s bodies for awhile until Zoey moves one of her hands from Tara’s ass to down the front of Tara’s panties. She runs her middle finger over Tara’s wet coochie, making Tara quiver with her mouth full of titty. Zoey moves her finger in a circular motion over Tara’s pussy, and she responds by undoing Zoey’s short shorts and letting them drop to the ground. Tara squats down out of Zoey’s reach, dragging the larger woman’s thong down along the way, and pushes against Zoey’s incredibly thick thighs to force her to sit; Zoey isn’t affected at all but takes a seat anyway. 

The first thing Tara notices is the way that Zoey’s pubic hair is trimmed, a thin blonde square right above her honey pot, the same way a soldier’s hair is cut; the second thing Tara notices is that she’s never actually eaten pussy. Tara drags her tongue along Zoey’s pussy from bottom to top, its tangy and slightly salty from the sweat that Tara was able to ignore during her breast-frenzy, she doesn’t care for the taste but her stubbornness won’t let her give up. She continually repeats this motion, looking up occasionally at Zoey’s relaxed face and feeling quite proud of herself. The problem Zoey has is that she’s only feeling relaxed because the consistent licking is nice but Tara is completely ignoring her clit.

“Okay, wait a minute” Tara stops her motion and looks up at Zoey’s face, her tongue still out.

Zoey puts her hand on Tara’s forehead and pushes her away, forcing Tara to sit on her knees. From her seated position, Zoey grabs Tara by the waist and deadlifts her into the air; she pushes Tara’s panties off, rotates the now half-naked woman, and then lowers her so that both women are face to pussy with each other. This seated 69 completely negates the foot-long height difference. Tara begins her simple motion again, but now that she’s upside-down she’s just lapping away at Zoey’s clit, a marked improvement but still not amazing.. Zoey figures she needs to demonstrate so she grabs hold of Tara’s ass cheeks, tilts her head back, and dives in tongue first. Tara’s rhythm is broken by the sudden feeling of Zoey’s tongue poking and prodding her insides and her strong hands roughly squeezing her ass. Though shaken for a moment, Tara regains her composure and shoves her tongue into Zoey’s vagina. Both women move their tongues wildly, struggling to focus on pleasuring each other due to their desperation to pleasure each other without losing focus. Their connection of tongues is severed when Tara’s moves back into her mouth and her legs tense up around Zoey’s head and begin to shake a bit; Zoey pulls back until Tara’s silent orgasm finally ends. After she cums, Tara is hit with the truth of what she’s done (cheating on her boyfriend), and what she still has to do (finish Zoey off). Tara resumes eating Zoey out, with none of the excitement she had previously and the taste now bitter with guilt, until Zoey finally orgasms with a long groan. Tara rolls off of her new neighbor and hurriedly puts her clothes back on, her obvious post-coital tristesse harshing Zoey’s post-coital bliss.

“Is everything okay?” 

“I-I have to go.”

“Uhh okay” Tara rushes out of Zoey’s apartment, leaving the new resident to silently put her clothes back on. Once she’s dressed, she slaps both of her hands against her forehead.

“Oh my god what was I thinking? I mean sure she was cute but I just met her,” Zoey scolds herself out loud, “alright I gotta fix this. What would the boss do? He would’ve not fucked his new neighbors,” It’s during this out loud brainstorming that Zoey notices Tara’s bag, a reason to go talk to her and potentially clear things up. She finishes off the two now warm beers, regrets it immediately, and steps out of her apartment. Zoey makes it up four steps before she feels something collide against her butt.

With a bag of lizard treats in his hand and a prime parking spot out front, Chris Colte’s in a decent mood when he walks into his apartment building. He runs up to the second floor no problem but when he rounds the corner to go to the third he bumps into something and is knocked back onto the second floor, hitting his head against the ground.

“Goddamn” Chris holds the back of his head in pain. Before it hit the floor, his head had collided with Zoey’s thick ass. 

“Oh man, are you okay?” Chris looks up to see the person he’d bumped into.

“Goddamn” Chris repeats under his breath, but not in pain this time. Zoey stands over him, her breasts pressed together by her arms as she leans down to look at him.

“Holy shit this guy’s cute” Zoey thinks to herself, “come on, I’ll get you an ice pack” Zoey says before she lifts Chris to his feet with little assistance.

“Wow you’re really strong.”

“Thank you” They get into Zoey’s apartment and put their bags on the table, she has Chris take a seat while she grabs something out of her fridge. “For your head, and this is just to say sorry for knocking you over” She hands him an ice pack and a beer, the former he immediately holds over the back of his head as Zoey sits facing him.

“Aww it’s fine, I should’ve been paying more attention” Though he’s never been a fan of beer, Chris happily cracks open the can, takes a drink, and is pleasantly surprised that he actually likes it. He ends up chugging the whole thing.

“Woah” 

“Sorry, that’s just... the best beer I’ve ever had, but I’ve never seen this brand before.”

“Yeah a coworker gave me a case of that stuff before I came back to the States” It’s when Zoey says this that Chris realizes that he’s never seen her before and notices the boxes around the apartment.

“Are you Zoey?” 

“Yeah, how’d you know that?”

“The landlord told me about you! She said ‘Chris this girl was like if Hercules had a big sister, she was so jacked!’ ” Zoey chuckles a little.

“I work out a bit” 

“I’d say, your butt was like a brick wall.” 

“Hey it’s a lot softer when I’m relaxed.”

“Oh really?”

“What you want to feel it?” Chris literally can’t say no to this question or even his girlfriend will call him a bitch.

“Uhh, can I?” Zoey stands up, does an about-face, and puts her hands on her hips.

“Go ahead” Chris slowly extends his free hand towards Zoey’s denim-clad ass. His palm presses against the center of her right asscheek, it’s all muscle but still has some squish to it. Feeling unusually bold and usually unwise, Chris decides to try something he often sees in porn. 

“I, um, can’t feel- I mean, I can’t get a good feel through your pants, er, shorts” As clumsy as his delivery was, Zoey unbuttons her shorts without a second thought. She lowers her shorts to just below her butt, unveiling her glorious ass and tiny white thong. 

“Get a real good feel Chris” Zoey almost commands as she looks over her shoulder. Chris is so amazed by the sight before him that he drops his ice pack and grabs Zoey’s ass with both hands. As solid as her ass is, Chris can see now that it still has plenty of jiggle to it. His touch against her bare skin chills Zoey, and not just because of his cold hand, Chris kneads and shakes her ass in everyway he can imagine as if he is trying to learn everything there is to know about it. 

*WHAP* Chris gives her ass a slap hard enough to hurt his own hand.

“Hey!” Zoey looks back at him with an insincere scowl on her face. The slap didn’t hurt her but she thought he was getting a little bold for a guy that she let fondle her ass. 

“I’m sorry” Chris pulls his hands back, his face is so genuinely sorry that Zoey feels bad for yelling.

“It’s fine, we should probably...stop...now” As Zoey turns around and moves to pull her shorts back up, she notices Chris obviously trying to hide his erection with his hands and she decides that she really wants to see his dick. 

“Hey let me see your dick” Zoey drops to her knees and starts grabbing at Chris’s crotch, but he shows some resistance.

“W-what?”

“Come on Chris, haven’t you ever heard of ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’?” 

Chris can’t argue with that so he reluctantly moves his hands. Unfettered, Zoey undoes his button, hooks the waistband of his pants and underpants, and pulls both down in one motion. Chris’s slightly above-average dick stands proud once freed, unlike Chris himself, whose extreme embarrassment only makes him seem cuter to Zoey. The longer she stares at Chris’s dick, the better it looks, until eventually she decides to give into her impulses. Zoey presses her tongue against Chris’s balls, then drags her tongue up his shaft and to the head, causing a matching chill in his spine. Chris doesn’t have the time or feel the need to protest when Zoey starts sucking his dick, all he can do is sit back and enjoy his first blowjob while Zoey places his hand on top of her head. He doesn’t even bother trying not to moan out loud, he is fine with Zoey making him sing. As much as Zoey loves doing what she’s doing to Chris, she knows that she needs to stop and he is almost brought to tears when she pulls her mouth of his dick; his mood immediately improves when Zoey stands back up, turns around, and pushes her thong down with her shorts.

As Zoey aligns her entrance with Chris’s wet dick, the only thing he can see is her big ass pressing into his chest and pinning him to his chair. She lowers herself until she is finally impaled by his cock and it’s as if not having Chris’s dick in her was the only problem she’s ever had in life. Zoey slides herself down to the hilt and sits there a moment as Chris struggles with her full weight on his pelvis; as nice as this is, Zoey puts her hands on her knees and starts to bounce her ass off of Chris’s groin. Their gasps, moans, and groans are drowned out by the sound of their bodies colliding as Zoey continuously speeds up like Chris is nothing more than a toy that she’s trying to cum with. Chris reaches his arms around to Zoey’s front where one snakes up the front of her tank top and the other goes down to her clit; Zoey slows down and leans back into Chris so he can have easier access. Now it’s Zoey’s moans that fill the room as she lets Chris play with her pearl while she rides his dick. 

“Oh god I’m almost there. Keep going baby” Zoey says as she reaches back to grab Chris’s hair.

“I’m close too” Chris is surprised he actually lasted this long.

“Oh I’m not getting off of you, you’re cumming inside.”

“Yeah sure” Chris only cares about nutting right now. With all of the strength in his body, he wraps his arms around Zoey’s chiseled abdomen and tries to stand up. Zoey happily stands with him and bends over as Chris starts to thrust like crazy. “UGH!” 

“Oh fuuuuuck” Zoey orgasms as Chris is cumming inside of her. Chris falls back into his chair and Zoey pulls herself into her chair. They sit for a moment as they come down from their high, when they snap back to reality Zoey facepalms and Chris holds his head in his hands.

“Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with me?” Chris curses himself as tears form in his eyes.

“Why’d I just let a stranger creampie me?” The two sit and feel sorry for themselves for awhile until they finally manage to look at each other. 

“I have a girlfriend” Chris chokes out.

“Oh god I’m so sorry Chris”

“No, you didn’t know, it’s my own fault.”

“What’s her name?” Zoey isn’t sure what else to say in this situation.

“Tara” Zoey’s eyes open as wide as humanly possible. Chris puts his dick away and walks to the door. “I need to go.” And he leaves the apartment.

“What are the fucking odds?” The situation is almost ridiculous enough to make Zoey laugh. “Man that asshole Barry would’ve got a kick out of this.” It’s at this moment that Zoey notices Chris’s empty beer can and remembers that asshole Barry is the one who gave her the case. Zoey picks the can up, turns it over, and finds a familiar red square that is present on many things produced in Kanga Isle.

“ ‘Warning this product contains Heart Fruit, which is a fast acting aphrodisiac and we are not responsible for the actions taken by someone while under the influence of this product. This product also contains Kanga Isle’s 100% organic native birth control, the Brain Fruit.’ Why’s everything on that goddamn island gotta make you horny!” Zoey throws the empty can across the room and then looks at the two bags on her table. “Ah shit”

“I need to tell you something” Chris and Tara say in unison as Chris walks into the apartment. Tara gets up from their sofa and rushes to him, flanked by a fat angry lizard. 

“I’m sorry Tara I did something awful.”

“Don’t worry Chris, I did something much worse.” Before either can confess to the other, there’s a knock at the door. Chris opens the door and when the two of them see Zoey standing out in the hallway, they tense up. She has their bags in one hand and a can in the other.

“Hi guys, can I come in? I need to talk to both of you.” Chris and Tara look at each other and motion for their mutual lay to enter. “You both are gonna want to take a seat.” They listen to her advice and sit down on the sofa, with Bud sitting between them. 

“What brings you here... neighbor?” Tara asks nervously, Zoey replies by handing her the can.

“I accidentally ‘drugged’ you both and myself twice, look at the red square on the back of the can. I had sex with both of you, you were both pretty good, and I don’t want you two to think one of you is the bad guy so I thought I’d let you know that I’m the bad guy here. Also you both left your.. I don’t know what this is, lizard trail mix in my apartment.” Zoey puts the bag down in front of Bud and walks out of the apartment, leaving a flabbergasted Tara and Chris and a very hungry lizard. After a few minutes of stunned silence, Tara turns to Chris and says...

“You wanna invite her to dinner?”

“Pfft, hell yeah.”


End file.
